i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
