Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
