make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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