We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
