happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
People with herpes should wear stickers.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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