Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
we should paint friendship bongs
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
