just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
