i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
