No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
