I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I need to sanitize my soul.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
