we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He? As in you personified your dick?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
