I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
