why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
