We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
