I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
