This dress was meant to end up on your floor
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
