wakey wakey hands off snakey
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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