My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
