don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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