whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
