two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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