i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
