I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
