Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
