I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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