Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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