So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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