Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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