I just made out with a guy for $7.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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