CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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