i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
