I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You were trust falling into bushes
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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