Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
soo... how was my night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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