And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
