what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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