My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
