i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
tonight lets celebrate not being married
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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