i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
