god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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