Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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