I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just had sex on a roof
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
