Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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