I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
