If that was your dad, he is hot
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
