we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
