Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
