You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
