i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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