please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This baby is an asshole
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
