Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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